The Patient Deaconess

As I walk this land with broken dreams
I have visions of many things
But happiness is just an illusion
Filled with sadness and confusion
What becomes of the broken-hearted
Who had love that's now departed?
I know I've got to find 
Some kind of peace of mind
Maybe

The stained glass windowed glory literally fought with the hard scrabble neighborhood clinging around it. At night though, when all of the church’s lights were on and music poured out mixed with people laughing, enjoying life with kids running and playing, then the windows clearly won out. It was a kind of lighthouse, directing the lost in out of the night.

The first time that Debra walked up to the place she was terrified but still just couldn’t keep herself from heading to the huge ornamental door. Her tiny apartment just was so close, so quiet, so…..lonely. Still, it was a risk. She really didn’t think of herself as religious but her other choice was the local club with carnivores in every nook and cranny.

The roots of love grow all around
But for me they come a-tumblin' down
Every day heartaches grow a little stronger
I can't stand this pain much longer
I walk in shadowsm searching for light
Cold and alone, no comfort in sight
Hoping and praying for someone to care
Always moving and goin' nowhere

“Well now girl, you gotta do something”. So Debra pulled on the brass door handle with lions on it.

The elderly lady in the elegant black server’s dress, but with practically glowing white gloves, figured Debra out in a glance. Her second glance was actually a glare, aimed at a comparably dressed, huge guy who clearly was interested in serving Debra. Silence can be quite loud as the deaconess shouted at him but without a spoken word. “Get back, this one is mine. The last person that this one needs right now is the likes of you”. Though the deacon easily was at least a hundred pounds heavier and a foot taller than his elderly colleague, he stopped as if he had walked into a brick wall. There was no question that the deaconess was boss here even if he looked like a bar bouncer and actually sometimes served the church that way. The deaconess dramatically changed expressions as she smiled at Debra. “Hello Baby” she said like the loving grandma that she was. Though Debra was forty three years old, she almost burst into tears, her spirit instantly taken back to early family life with huge, black family festivals and an astonishing grandma just like this one.

What becomes of the broken-hearted
Who had love that's now departed?
I know I've got to find 
Some kind of peace of mind
Help me

“No baby,” Grandma gave her that intimate title immediately when they first met and stuck with it from then on. They were standing in the church foyer early before services on the first Sunday morning that Debra would be a Deaconess. Grandma just showered obvious pride from the fact. “Ignore him for now. First you hafta heal, really heal, before ya start anything new. If he be worth it, he’ll wait.”

“Ok” was Debra’s best reply.

Grandma raised an eyebrow as her glance traveled over Debra’s spanking new, black server’s uniform and her immaculate white gloves. “I mean it baby cause ya be looking really good right now.” Debra smiled. She really did look elegant in her new deaconess outfit per her bathroom mirror this morning. Then she got serious. The magnificent chandelier dominating the church foyer area above Debra had cost the entire estate of a now departed former deaconess. Despite the objection of the church, (they saw the great needs in the neighborhoods around them and wanted to use the money that way, claiming that the building was ornamental enough). The now dead deaconess insisted on bequeathing specifically and only to the hanging work of tinsel magic though.  Now many crystal facets reflected a miracle in its diamond like raindrops. The chandelier showed as a gorgeous lady visually became even more gorgeous right there, on the spot. Debra’s back straightened out in self-assurance, she looked everyone directly in the eyes, (including men), and her white gloves snapped in military precision as she directed incoming families, and people, and lonely ones,….like her. “Hello baby” she said to a sad looking young lady, (Debra had learned from a master). “Here,” she smiled at harried looking parents as she picked up their most rambunctious one, a spastic three year old. “Let me show you the way to the nursery”. She kissed an elderly gentleman on his bald head as he sat in his wheelchair. Clearly it made his day…even his week. Debra smiled at a tall, handsome man and handed him a church bulletin as the beautiful music started in the church sanctuary. “You are so welcome” she assured him.

What becomes of the broken-hearted
Who had love that's now departed?

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you”.  Matthew 6:33 ESV